What if my eggs aren’t meant to be fertilised?

A lot of women find it difficult to accept the reality that just maybe, they were never meant to be mothers. Funny right? I sometimes have the lingering thought that not all wombs are meant to carry an unborn child. Past traumas, feelings of inadequacy, failing to meet the right partner, and even freewill are other determinants of uninhibited motherhood. We all have that inner child who’s there to constantly remind us that maybe we will be sucker mums, so if you fit into any of the following categories, appease your spirits by saving your eggs from the little growth (just yet…)

1. If you are career-oriented

The possibilities to motherhood are probably endless since nowadays there are a lot of ways to conceive other than the conventional two-way man and woman street. There’s artificial insemination, where one just books an appointment with their gynae and bravo! a baby is planted in the womb. One can even opt for adoption if need rises which ideally takes the “mating” out of the equation if one is really not up for carrying a whole baby for 9 months. Either way, being a mother to that child brings the optimum satisfaction one can get. But some women are just not into all that charade and feel as if they are better off as career-oriented beings who spend most of their time working, crunching huge deals, handling corporate affairs and drinking loads of success champagne afterwards. If you’re this type of woman, do you Mammie, and never feel the need to explain your choices to anyone.

2. If you just don’t want to be a mum

Society is quick to judge such women, as they usually feel as if choosing not to be a mum is an act simply brewed by selfish tendencies. Far from it: NOT EVERYONE WANTS TO BE A MUM, because motherhood is a real commitment, and is more of a 24-hour on and off the clock job that is cut out for SOME but not restricted to all women. I was listening in to a conversation not long ago of a certain lady who decided to forego child-bearing with the blessing of her husband, and the reaction she got from her peers were astoundingly all negative criticism. I then wondered if child-bearing is supposed to be forced or expected of everyone, and I came to the realization that just because a woman chooses not to be a biological mother, it doesn’t necessarily imply that she lacks that motherly instinct. Nonetheless, it’s just a choice which people have to respect.

3. If you’re not ready, yet

I’m almost 31, and sometimes I feel as if my eggs play table tennis with my uterus whenever I pass through a baby clothes boutique. I so badly want to be a mum (chuckles) yet I strongly believe in all earnest that sometimes, being a parent requires wholesome preparation. If you’re still a singleton, wait until you’re 100% sure you can actually take care of that child alone before you get pregnant. Hormones are deceiving: you don’t want to be a charity case a few months down the lane when reality strikes that you really can’t sustain motherhood. To newly weds who’re yet to find financial rooting: take the time to know each other instead and start saving for the child. There’s no need to rush into parenthood just so that Uncle Tom and Aunt Maria’s spirits are pacified, yet in reality you’re still struggling to make ends meet.

So before getting your egg pumped up, remember that fertilization is just the beginning of a really long journey. Take your time, decide if you REALLY want the child, and never compromise yourself so as to meet a societally constructed expectation.