Fashion & Style

Greetings dearest fashion police, we kindly ask that you stop policing children on what they should or shouldn’t wear in the comfort of their homes. The dictionary definition of a child according to the Merriam Webster dictionary is “a young person especially between infancy and puberty”.

Growing up, did you ever have to suffer the stern looks from your mothers and aunts after you wore shorts or a skirt (THEY BOUGHT YOU)? Do you recall hearing things like “ugqokeni kanti?” (What on earth are you wearing?) or my personal favourite “What will your father say?” You’d hear things like “There are men in the house.


Stop enabling nonsense. The world does not revolve around men. It is not a child’s job to make men feel comfortable. How do you tell a MINOR their clothes might send the wrong message to their grandfather? What message is that aunty? When did pieces of fabric on a young female’s body become a net that catches prey?

Why pray tell should a pre-teen care what her father will think of her attire? Children especially girls are trained, conditioned and hardwired to live in fear of their male relatives from the moment they are born. They are taught that they should hide their bodies because they entice men.

Female relatives are usually the reason behind this fear. I hope you do not misunderstand me as I am fully aware of what atrocities are committed with each passing day: fathers violating their newborns and siblings pinning each other down after dark but that is not the point of my message today. There’s not enough cloth in the world to stop a predator.

Stop enabling disgusting behaviour in your households. The minute a male relative looks at your daughter/sibling with lust-filled eyes, nip it in the bud. Khaba lenja! (Kick that dog to the curb!) I know this is an impossible feat considering how you women love to look the other way because “abantu bazothini” (what will people say?) What will it take for you to open your eyes? How a child dresses is not the problem. Would you like to have your daughter raped before your eyes in her Catholic school uniform? Will you be convinced then? Don’t even get me started on certain Christian parents’ abo-Deputy Jesus who still act surprised when they hear stories of rape within the family despite dressing their kiddos in floor length clothing 24/7.

If you ever ask a kid to go and change the clothes they feel comfortable in because a male relative has arrived then maybe they shouldn’t be allowed to visit anymore. I’m sorry that this isn’t written by a man because maybe then you would have taken me seriously.

Instead of teaching your daughters to refrain from wearing clothes that accentuate their features, talk to them about bottom barrel individuals that like to take what is not theirs. Make it easy for them to come and talk to you should anything sinister happen under your roof. Most importantly act swiftly once an injustice has been reported. If all of that fails then maybe you could try put warning signs on all the paedophiles in your family with the label “QAPHELA! INGOZI! DANGER!”

Children especially AFRICAN children are not allowed to express themselves and God forbid they have an opinion, how they dress themselves especially at home is their way of doing just that. Society crucifies us for our fashion choices as it is, don’t bring that negativity into the safe haven that is their home.

Okay so what did we learn today folks?:

  • Practice letting your child wear anything they are comfortable and confident in at home.
  • Give the kids age-appropriate sex education
  • Teach your children both male and female about the dangers of the outside world and how it can sometimes creep into households.
  • Pay attention when a child feels uncomfortable around a certain family member.
  • And for Pete’s sake lock that pervert out the house (P.S. I don’t care that you’ve been married for 15 years, he belongs in the wilderness with the rest of the predators)
  • Report all crimes of child abuse no matter who the family member is.

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There’s nothing as depressing as walking into a lingerie shop and seeing very sexy lingerie, but when you ask the assistant for one or two sexy numbers, you get a cold, “We don’t have bigger sizes!” Having a bra size 42DD+ is next to a curse in Zimbabwe. Girl, the misrepresentation is on the next level leaving us ‘the gifted ones‘ with bland-looking bras, boring corsets and sagging granny panties. The question then is: do plus size women feel comfy in the boring lingerie? None of that is to my liking, so here are a few tips to lingerie stockists out there…

Represent all women

Yes, this is the first step in the right direction in ensuring that all ladies feel confident in their underwear.  All women want the right lingerie which is well-defined and sits perferctly in the right places. Good lingerie makes a difference and can aid in creating ambiance, confidence and that sexy vibe for a woman. Plus size ladies also want jaw-dropping stockings, bra sets, swim wear and all-things-necessary for different occassions. So before stocking your shop, remember that all women need to feel great and look hot! Order very stylish lingerie which is not only lacey, but comfy. Don’t forget the printed pieces: we also wanna look dangerous, LoL.

Be familiar with your clientele

It’s one thing to have a successful lingerie business and another thing to know your clientele base. The bulk of plus size women still lack rendition, and finding a place in the fashion world is taking forever. Lingerie is what defines a woman, and if we all agree that it echoes taste and class, then there is need for shop owners to know, listen to and respond to their customer needs. Time and again, women with bigger boobs end up forcing their tresures into smaller sizes which are usually uncomfortable. So the next time three or more women who wear DD/E/F/G cups request them, make it a point to order them. Why? It’s simple: we will give referrals which will boost your business…

Design to impress

No matter the size, all women want to feel good and look drop-dead gorgeous. Sexy is good too, and every man wants to just see the beauty in his choice of a woman. Lingerie is a hype for every woman (me included), so if you are a designer out there, take time in crafting designer pieces which work wonders for African women. This would go a long way in helping us plus size women in reclaiming our sexy appeals and take control in the bedroom, swimming spaces, at the beach or anywhere where showing ‘a bit of flesh’ is appropriate.

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My nails have always been my weakness, and at some point, I had a nasty tendency of biting them off. So one day whilst I was in the saloon getting my hair done, habit caught me off guard, and I religiously started doing what I knew best! Little did I know I was under the radar, and after sometime, a Nail Technician walked over and introduced herself, “I’m Martha Longwe, and I have been watching you for a while. Would you mind having a little chat?” I reluctantly stopped chewing them off, and she began to explain the importance of nail health and maintenance. The long and short of it all: she taught me “Nail Love”, and I grapsed a thing or two which I’ll share here:

Nails Salon GIF by In The Heights Movie - Find & Share on GIPHY

1.  The nail journey all starts with healthy nails…

Yes, a healthy diet matters when it comes to nail health, and failure to eat a well-balanced meal might result in fragile nails. The body is just like a flower, and it needs constant nourishment for it to function soundly. Ever wondered why your nails keep breaking off regardless of how careful you are in maintaining them? It might be because of that little food item you are neglecting, or a nutty/fruity snack to distract you from biting them off. Just remember to incorporate all the nutritional elements in your meals always, so as to retain healthy nails.

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2. Choosing the right artificial nail type matters…

After you have strong nails, its very important for you to choose the right artificial nails when you visit the saloon, because they might damage your nail bed if too much stress is involved. Ever wondered why your nails ache after you get long stick-ons or acrylic nails? The answer is simple: the longer an attachment, the more inconvenient it is with regards to getting along with your day-to-day chores. So if you are looking for comfort and covenience, consider shorter nails BUT if you love them long and eye-catching, go for them!… plus the little discomfort too (wink).

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3. Nails need to breathe too…

Slaying and looking chiq is a MUST, but moderation matters. Yes, we all want sleek naturals, glittery stick-ons, or fancy French tips BUT never do it in excess. Too much filing, application and removal of articifial nails can lead to more damage than good, so allow them to breathe. After nail removal, it is advisable to wait for at least a week before getting a re-do. Also, get them polished during the healing process because a good nail hardener goes a long way in helping the repair process.

Kim Novak Nails GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

When it comes to fashion and beauty, every woman deserves the best.  NEVER overlook nail beauty… Buy hand/nail creams, nail trimmers and buffers, and even go for a hand massage once in a while. Your nails are as equally important as any other fashion statement you own, so make them a Brand!

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The Lockdown is more than a nightmare if you are a naturalista, because not only is natural hair a hustle, but it’s also 100% unmanipulatable at times! I know the struggle because I’m part of it too, and with salons on “forced vacation”, nothing is more depressing than moppy natural hair which is just too brittle to even comb out, let alone shampoo or condition.  Natural hair can be a snub in the back in winter, and it can send shivers down your spine plus breakages if you overlook some simple steps. Yeah, you might end up posting ‘Bad Hair Day’ more often than not if you decide to go all macho this winter. Not only that, your comb might start sending fallout signals too, which might then force you to run straight to the barber in summer. To save you from the bad-hair-day brought about by dreadful winter chills, I’ve jotted down 3 ways to beat the snag this winter…

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Get the right brushes

Your eyes might be rolling out, and you might be asking yourself, “Does it really matter?” but here’s my little secret: natural hair needs suitable brushes and combs. Ever wondered why your hair breaks every time you try to use a seamed comb or one with pressed-together tongs? It’s simple…natural hair is wiry, so forcing a thinly-spaced comb might do more harm than good. Please look for combs and brushes that are wide-toothed and seamless. These not only detangle hair ever so gently, but they don’t mess up the roots. A healthy hair bed is essential in guaranteeing perfect growth and rejuvenation in instances when the hair falls out due to strain.

Bag-in a good moisturizer

Now this really is essential to ensure that your hair is always hydrated. A natural crown can be a nightmare if it’s dry, so always moisturise it. Moisturisers differ but what I can safely vouch for is anything water-based. I know the feeling one gets when’ wet’ is mentioned, but believe it or not, natural hair thrives well if it’s a bit damp. Funny right? Well just give it a shot: mix a few natural oils then add some water. Go ahead, spray that hair and plait whilst it is moistened. The next time you remove the plaits, also make sure it’s a bit damp when you detangle it. I can guarantee you one thing: Less Breakage, and More Bulkier Hair (not forgetting the silky natural shine…)

Black Hair GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Try out a suitable DIY protective style

Self-plaiting isn’t fun, but the Covid-19 period has helped me appreciate the positivity in a bit of hair DIY protective styles. Just because I am plaiting my hair and incorporating the afore-mentioned right hair brushes and moisturisers, I now know my strong hair points and the weak ones. Aaaargh yes Queens, we all have these. There are those spots on your head that cannot take strain when it comes to combing, like edges or even the midi parts. Hair differs, and some ladies are blessed with good hairlines but one thing I have learnt over the past few months is: hair can actually grow faster if you know when to comb, how to twist and when to renew your hairstyle.

So get crafty ladies. And remember: all hairtypes matter but with natural hair, a dose or two of extra love can make the crown bigger!

Type 4 Curly Hair GIF by Shalita Grant - Find & Share on GIPHY


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Funny how I never – in a thousand years – dreamed of spending 24/7 indoors, slouching on the couch and munching away on some popcorn, whilst constantly refreshing my screen for the latest Netflix movies. Life is unpredictable, and some twists just elevate one’s state from zero to hundred…and here I’m simply referring to being stuck at home!


Most of us are finding ourselves wearing sleepwear more often than not, and we have all of a sudden forgotten to add some kinky finesse to our night-turned-day clothes. That sexy, girly-girl feeling is what we all crave for, so don’t lose yourself in that boring nightie. Spice it up a little, and get shopping online for these three essential looks that you can get away with during this Covid-19 lockdown:

1. The Onesie

If you’re that chicky, yet laid back girl who simply hates having to button up the whole shirt, the onesie is our thing so, cheers to us! Buying a onesie is the way to go, as it saves you the hustle of putting on too many pieces. Plus since winter is staring blankly into our faces now, a warm and colourful cartoon themed or polka-dotted onesie is a must-have. So go over to a departmental store online, add it to your cart, and have it delivered at your doorstep!


2. A fluffy gown
Who doesn’t love fur honestly? We all do, especially if the fur is comfy enough to be worn late afternoon, while you lackadaisically flip through a novel. A fluffy gown is ideal, because not only is it cosy, but it can also up your ratings on your IG #stayhome #staysafe uploads. Who said staying indoors, in a nightgown should be boring? Plus, soon when life isn’t all stay-home-all-day, you won’t have time to show that fluffy gown off. Go grab it, have it and remember to flaunt it!


3. Get Lacey…
Just to keep that love spark burning, there’s nothing more alluring than a lace nightie that is comfortable to rock in the living room as you eat dinner with your better half. Instead of wearing that oversized T-Shirt that you inherited from your brother, order something that says, “Yes I’m stuck indoors, but I’m still a tigress underneath my skin.”


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